It seems all this commotion over these lead codices has taken its toll on the Biblioblogging community. Everyone has snapped.
“It was…it was just too much..” James McGrath spoke to me yesterday, his tone held a mixture of depression and apathy. “I don’t think I can even muster up a good joke about mythicists…”
Joel Watts informed me that his decision to go into ministry was directly a result of the lead codices. He told me in confidence, “I can’t do this anymore; all this pressure on us to straighten out the media. It’s just not natural, you know?”
Jim West has stopped mowing his lawn (it’s been nearly a week, some sources say) and he has decided to shred his collection (rather large one at that) of overalls. When I asked him what was the matter, he shrugged, “It’s completely depraved. I used to mow my lawn for the peace and solitude it brought me. I could escape the woes of the world, be more in touch with God.” A tear rolled down his cheek as he smiled and reminisced the good days. But sorrow took him, “But now I can’t seem to escape these codices! Everywhere I go, every news source I go to for my daily ‘Totally Depraved’ articles, all of them have something about these derned lead codices! I can’t find peace anywhere…”
After Jim West sulked away, I ran into a belligerent Mark Goodacre. At first I thought he might have been mad over the recent Duke loss in the craziness of March Madness. It soon became clear to me that he was not at all well. “Mark,” I asked, “What are you doing?” He quickly informed me through gritting teeth that every undergrad he ran into at Duke would not stop asking him about the codices. “I can’t escape these pesky students; it is as if they’ve never listened to anything I have said.” He pushed me aside and stormed off in a hurry, to where I didn’t ask.
Finally I ran into Dan McClellen who I saw rocking uncomfortably back and forth. “Dan?” I asked. He looked up, clearly shaken. “What is the matter?” I asked. He looked around in a paranoid fashion, “Wikipedia doesn’t think I’m an expert. I was discredited by a Wiki editor! I’m ruined! I am thinking about dropping out of grad school and running off to some foreign country where no one has the internet. Maybe there I can start a new life.” I looked puzzled, of course. As would anyone! After all the work Dan has done in exposing the codices, someone should give him a modicum of credit. I was shocked to hear that his experience in these matters was so easily pushed aside. “These codices, ” he began, rocking back and forth even faster now, “they’ve completely ruined me!”
I shook my head and started to walk away once more. And then, I saw Dan shoot off like a rocket towards a small building. Following closely behind him, I could see Goodacre, Watts, West, McGrath and other bibliobloggers. In some bizarre twist, all of them had managed to find several brown leather jackets, fedoras, and whips. And more than one of them had on some khaki Dockers. As I approached, I realized what had happened. “We thought, we might as well join them.” McGrath said, trying his best to imitate Harrison Ford’s smirk. For the sake of everyone reading this, I snapped a picture. I don’t know why, but some of the Bibliobloggers had decided to dress as anime characters as well. They must have really been effected.
Something must be done to stop this madness… or we may all soon end up like them…