Depravity (and Stupidity) Part II: The Lamest Intoxicated Robbery Attempt

And here’s another one:

CHICKASHA, Okla. — A suspected thief was taken into custody after allegedly trying to conceal a stolen chainsaw by stuffing it down his pants as one would a candy bar, according to local news reports.

Police say 21-year old Anthony Black was eyeing an Echo chainsaw, but decided that a grab and dash wasn’t in the cards.

The man, who police say appeared intoxicated, took the mechanical saw from the wall and put it down the front of his pants instead, according to NBC affiliate KSHB.

While some employees initially thought Black — who by this point was walking with a noticeable waddle — was handicapped, others were suspicious.

George Graham, an employee at the Ross Seed Company, witnessed the incident, telling NBC affiliate KEOR, “I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants.”

“This is a little unique, simply because of how large the item was,” Chickasha Police Assistant Chief Elip Moore explained.

Paul Horton, the hardware store’s manager, told KEOR it was “the first time I’ve ever seen a chainsaw go down anyone’s britches.”

A limping Black was eventually chased from the store, ditching the chainsaw in the process.

A short pursuit ensued, with the suspected thief diving headfirst into a creek, police say.

Authorities fished Black from the shallow water, placing him under arrest.

“He could have cut himself up real good. He’d have been walking with a permanent limp,” Graham explained.

The chainsaw in question was eventually returned to the store.

via Is that a chainsaw in your pants, or are you…? – U.S. news – Weird news –


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