South Park spoofed the History Channel’s series Ancient Aliens and I have to say, it was both hilarious and scary. South Park has always been on the front lines (so to speak) of social commentary and satire. Spoofing silly beliefs is nothing new for the show. A few years ago it spoofed Scientology and before that it spoofed Mormonism. Both episodes were extremely entertaining but it showed a side of humanity that frightens me. In both of these earlier episodes, it explained what these two groups actually believe (and what they believe is just nonsense; see for yourself and watch the videos and then do a little research to verify). Needless to say, the show Ancient Aliens has decent enough ratings and a large enough following to scare me as well.
But this particular episode is interesting. As I’ve said before, those who believe that there were ancient astronauts from outer space who came to earth–and that there is evidence for this–are just nuts. It’s a new form of maximalism, whereby nonexperts pretend as if they know what they are talking about by making up ridiculous conspiracy theories and connecting the dots which can’t exist anywhere but in the fabric of their own imaginations.
To quote from Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (the guy pictured on the left):
“The Great thing about the ancient aliens theory is the fact that we can compare modern acheivements with stories from our ancient past.” (source)
He goes on to argue quite absurdly that if we can create a two headed dog today, this allows for the possibility that two headed dogs existed in the past, created by ancient aliens. Yes, that is exactly what he is saying. Watch the video.
This is either a space suit or a scuba suit. We await the next History Channel series: 'Ancient Deep-Sea Alien Dive Teams'
And then compare this sort of illogical position with that of, say, the Zeitgeisters, who are just as crazy with their theories about astrotheology and the stars. They say, for example, that the stars line up a certain way and on certain times of the year they do such and such and that is where the ancients get such and such an idea. It’s all crap. When you punch in the data to an astronomy program that maps the stars and can tell you about their positions in the past, they just don’t line up the way the Zeitgeist movement claims. And when you start to factor in that some constellations are fixed and have no bearing whatsoever on the ancient Near East, it collapses the whole argument because the thread of links they correct are so fragile. For example the ‘southern cross’ constellation. The movie Zeitgeist argues that the southern cross has bearing on the fabrication of the Gospel narratives. But this just doesn’t work once you do a little fact checking:
“The stars of the Southern Cross are just visible above the southern horizon in Alexandria, and in Jerusalem in antiquity although I don’t think it is visible there now. The constellation was, however, not recognized in antiquity, and its four bright stars were included by Ptolemy in Centaurus, which sort of surrounds it” 11 (bold emphasis is mine).
Why wasn’t the Southern Cross constellation recognized in antiquity? Dr. Swerdlow explains:
“That Crux, the Southern Cross, was not recognized as a separate constellation in antiquity is probably because, as seen from the Mediterranean, it is low on the southern horizon and is surrounded on three sides by stars of Centaurus, which is a large, prominent constellation, and the four bright stars of Crux are included as stars of Centaurus in Ptolemy’s star catalogue. It is only when you go farther to the south, so that Crux is higher in the southern sky, that it becomes prominent as a group of stars by itself, so its recognition had to wait until the southern voyages of the sixteenth century.” 12
In other words, the “Southern Cross” (Crux) constellation could not have served as a basis for the Gospel account of Jesus, because it was not distinct enough for any of the ancient Mediterranean inhabitants to identify it.
(source: read all of it and judge for yourself)
To add to this, the movie tries to suggest that the Crux is visible in April, around the time of Easter. This is only true, however, for anything at or less than the 25th parallel north. None of the relevant cultures of the ANE would have been able to witness this (Egypt, Palestine, Italy, Asia Minor, etc…). Only those locations in the far, far southern hemisphere see the Crux year-round. But facts mean nothing to the Zeitgeist movement and its most ardent followers (of whom this author has had many encounters and none of them have been remotely interesting or cordial–they don’t take well to dissonant perspectives). The same can be said for those who believe in ancient aliens.
I’m glad to see that the creators of South Park laid out all the glaring problems of the series Ancient Aliens in an entertaining way. For those who want to see more about what I and others have to say about this series, check out this link after you watch the clip below.
South Park: Ancient Aliens Thanksgiving
Filed under: Belief, Blog Memes, Cartoon, Humor, Philosophy, Scholarship, Science Content | Tagged: aliens, Ancient, conspiracy theories, Dilettante, history channel, pseudo-archaeology, pseudo-scholarship, south park, Zeitgeist | 6 Comments »