A Case of Mistaken Identity

Crazy and stupid.  Why anyone wants to pretend to be a cop is beyond me.  When you commit fraud and do stupid things, expect to get caught.

A security guard who apparently wanted to play police officer pulled over the wrong person Tuesday, according to Dalton, Ga., police.

James Dale Smith, 58, an employee of J.J.K. Security in Chattanooga, Tenn., turned on his strobe light and tried to stop a car on Shugart Road shortly before 10 p.m. Tuesday, police spokesman Bruce Frazier said in a news release.

What Smith didn’t know was the car was an undercover vehicle and the driver a Dalton Police Department detective.

via Man posing as officer pulls over undercover police vehicle – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

Jailed Man Calls 911 to Complain About Being Held Against his Will

This is amusing…

Police in Ohio say a man arrested on a disorderly conduct charge called 911 from jail to complain he was being held against his will.

The Sandusky Register reports the man had been handcuffed to the door of his holding cell early Sunday because officers said he wouldn’t calm down and they were afraid he would hurt himself or cause damage.

He’d been arrested in a dispute outside a Sandusky bar.

The newspaper reports police in the northern Ohio community took away the man’s cell phone after the 911 call was placed and included in the charges against him a count of misuse of 911.

via Jailed man calls 911 with gripe – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

Where Pop-Culture and Criminal Behavior Join…

And who said that Twilight wasn’t a dangerous obsession?

PHOENIX — An Arizona man has been sentenced to three years of probation for stabbing a man who refused to let him suck his blood.

Maricopa County Superior Court says 24-year-old Aaron Homer, of Chandler, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and was sentenced Monday.

The Arizona Republic reports 25-year-old Robert Maley once let his roommates suck his blood. But when Maley refused a second time on Oct. 4, he was stabbed.

Chandler police said Maley lived with Homer and his girlfriend.

Maley said the two men were into “vampire stuff.”

via Ariz. man gets probation in bloodsucking case – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

Depravity: Man Steals Ambulance

How does that thought process go… “I need a ride home, so I think I’ll steal an ambulance…”

HAZARD, Ky. — A man in eastern Kentucky charged with stealing an ambulance says he just needed a ride home.

A Perry County ambulance crew was inside a hospital in Hazard for only a few minutes Friday night and left the keys in the ignition. WYMT-TV reports that when they came out, the vehicle was gone.

City Police Sgt. Randy Napier says an off-duty Kentucky State Police detective saw the ambulance being driven erratically pulled it over.

Napier says 26-year-old Shane Hale told the detective he only needed a ride home and was going to call the ambulance service the next day and report where the vehicle was. Hale was jailed on DUI and other charges.

via Emergency ride? Man allegedly steals ambulance – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

Depravity at Walmart? Could it be…?

Apparently so…

FREMONT — A Toledo man stopped by the local Wal-Mart Thursday with an unusual delivery — photographs of himself wearing fishnet stockings, a women’s camisole, and “nothing in between,” according to Fremont Police Det. Sgt. Dean Bliss.

“Apparently he did it just to get a reaction,” Sergeant Bliss said.

A loss prevention specialist at Wal-Mart reacted first; Fremont police were next.

Rodney Kunkel, 44, was charged with two counts of pandering obscenity, a fifth-degree felony punishable by up to 12 months in prison and a $2,500 fine. He was being held in the Sandusky County jail Thursday after Fremont Municipal Court Michael Burkett set bond at $30,000.

Sergeant Bliss said that on Monday a loss prevention employee at Wal-Mart discovered nine such lewd photographs on shelves in the cosmetics department and on the windshields of some cars in the parking lot. By studying surveillance tape, he was able to identify the suspect’s vehicle.

Sergeant Bliss said that when the loss prevention agent arrived at work Thursday, he spotted the vehicle in the parking lot and called police.

via Toledo man arrested for displaying nude photos of himself at Fremont Wal-Mart – Toledo Blade.

And in Florida:

OCALA, Fla., March 5 (UPI) — Florida police said a man told an officer the two bras he stole from a Walmart store were gifts for his girlfriend to celebrate her upcoming release from jail.

Ocala police said Johnnie Brown, 29, was spotted by a Walmart loss-prevention officer Tuesday shoving two bras into his pants while riding around the store in a motorized wheelchair, the Ocala Star-Banner reported Friday.

Investigators said Brown was detained by employees when he left the store without paying for the items.

Brown allegedly told police the bras were a gift for his girlfriend, who is scheduled to be released from jail this month. Police said he had $350 in his pocket at the time of his arrest but said he couldn’t use it to purchase the items because it was rent money.

Police said the bras were worth $7 and $13.

Brown was charged with petit retail theft and released Wednesday after posting $500 bail.

Disgusting and depraved.

Zombie Ants! Zoinks!

Well, here is another one for the books.  I fully expect this to become a movie at some point.  Hollywood, don’t disappoint.

The world just got a little weirder: Scientists have identified four new species of brain-controlling fungi that turn ants into zombies that do the parasite’s bidding before it kills them.

Identified from samples collected at two sites in Brazil’s tropical rain forest, each of the four species specializes in controlling a different species of carpenter ant.

The original zombie-ant fungus, Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, was first identified in 1865, and it seems to exist around the world.

“So we knew, right off the bat, there was a range of other species within that,” said study researcher David Hughes, an entomologist at Pennsylvania State University. “I think it will turn out to be in the hundreds.”

Once it infects an ant, the fungus uses as-yet-unidentified chemicals to control the ant’s behavior, Hughes told LiveScience. It directs the ant to leave its colony (a very un-ant-like thing to do) and bite down on the underside of a leaf — the ant’s soon-to-be resting place. Once it is killed by the fungus, the ant remains anchored in place, thanks to its death grip on the leaf.

Ultimately, the fungus produces a long stalk that protrudes from the ant’s head, shooting spores out in the hopes of infecting other ants. Two of the four newly discovered species also sprouted smaller stalks elsewhere, including from the victim’s feet and lower leg joints – the equivalent of knees.

via What? Brain-controlling fungi & zombie ants?! – Technology & science – Science – LiveScience – msnbc.com.

Staring at Goats? Army Targeted Senators with Psyops

This does sound like something from a comedy, but this is no joke.  Psychological warfare is very real (for those who don’t know, we often employ tactics of psychological warfare on our enemies to demoralize and fracture their forces–it often works).   Using these tactics for the single purpose of getting more money (even if you need it) seems crazy (though, if I think about it, I would be cool with it if the A-Team did this…, I’d think it was brilliant).  Here is a snippet from the story:

The U.S. army reportedly deployed a specialized “psychological operations” team to help convince American legislators to boost funding and troop numbers for the war in Afghanistan.

The operation was ordered by three-star general in charge of training Afghan troops Lt. Gen. William Caldwell, Rolling Stone Magazine reported in a story published late on Wednesday.

An officer in charge of the unit objected when he was ordered to pressure the visiting senators and was harshly reprimanded by superiors, according to the magazine.

“My job in psyops is to play with people’s heads, to get the enemy to behave the way we want them to behave,” the officer, Lt. Colonel Michael Holmes, told Rolling Stone.

“I’m prohibited from doing that to our own people. When you ask me to try to use these skills on senators and congressman, you’re crossing a line,” he added.

Among those targeted were Senators John McCain, Joe Lieberman, Jack Reed, Al Franken and Carl Levin, as well as Representative Steve Israel of the House Appropriations Committee, the magazine said.

The team also targeted Admiral Mike Mullen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

via Report: Army targeted Senators with psyops – World news – South and Central Asia – Afghanistan – msnbc.com.

Total Depravity: Woman Falsely Claims Daughter was Kidnapped

Some people shouldn’t reproduce; now the daughter is going to end up in a foster home (which might be for better or worse), but imagine the emotional repercussions!  Here are a few snippets:

A Bonita Springs woman called the Lee County Sheriff’s Office on Wednesday to report that her young daughter — under the age of 13 — was kidnapped by two men outside Bonefish Grill.

But there was one problem with the story she told: it wasn’t true.

The woman, Melissa Ashley Graham, 38, of Vermillion Lane, told investigators that she had an argument with her daughter inside the restaurant and decided to leave.

Graham’s daughter told investigators that after her mother drank two or three glasses of wine and then began acting weird. The daughter told investigators that her mother spit bread on the table and started yelling about family issues.

Graham then left the restaurant without her daughter. A short time later, the daughter and the restaurant manager went outside and found Graham in her car. The manager told Graham she still had to pay her bill, but Graham insisted the other person they were dining with agreed to pay it — but the only other person was her daughter.

Graham became upset and drove off. A few minutes went by and the daughter’s cell phone rang. It was Graham asking the whereabouts of her daughter. Deputies then tried to call Graham back, but she didn’t answer. Her daughter was then taken to the sheriff’s substation until her mother could be found.

via Bonita Springs woman falsely claims daughter was kidnapped | The News-Press | news-press.com.

And who got the blame?  This article states:

Once outside, the young girl was allegedly swiped by the men who then fled in a cream-colored sedan.

But according to this article she apparently told officials that:

Graham allegedly claimed two Hispanic men grabbed the girl and drove away.

So she fictionally creates an account of two “Hispanic men”; nice.  So now she is also a racist on top of being a horrible mother and a liar.  And her defense?

“This is all a complete misunderstanding,” Graham said. “I love my daughter more than anything in the world and I’m going to do everything to make this right.”

Too late.  You’ve proven just how depraved you are.

Depravity: Man Accused of Punching his Disabled Mother

…and then stealing her teeth… seriously.  Just sickening.

Houston, TX — Christopher Harding, 23, stands accused of physically assaulting his disabled mother and running off with her dentures.

Police say the incident occurred at his mother’s home earlier this month. According to Harding’s mother, Mettie Cartwright, the man grabbed her by the throat, pushed her to the ground, punched her in the face and applied painful pressure to her neck with his hand. She told police that her son held her neck so tight she had trouble breathing.

While he had her down on the ground, he reportedly used his free hand to reach inside the woman’s mouth and yank out her upper plate. Harding then fled the home with the teeth. Police said a witness was able to back up the woman’s claim.

Harding was arrested, charged with injury to a disabled person and is currently being held in the Harris County Jail without bond.

via Christopher Harding Accused Of Punching His Disabled Mother, Stealing Her Dentures.

Those Bibliobloggers Must Have Been Hungry…

What happens when Bibliobloggers get hungry?  Well, just look what Joel Watts, Jim West, and Mark Goodacre were caught doing:

Breakfast might be the most important meal of the day, but that doesn’t mean you should break into a school to get it.

Four men have been arrested after they were caught roaming the halls of John Ferguson High School in Miami with some interesting stolen loot.

Along with a computer and an iPod headset, the men were also carrying two trays of French toast.

Delicious choice, but bad execution.

Edel Garcia, 21, Jonathan Alexander Swadener, 18, and 20-year-olds Steven Fabian Gonzalez and Omar Antonio Jiminez were caught early Monday morning after they tripped silent alarms at the school, police said.

Police believe the bandits would have stolen more if not for speedy response and the crooks’ cavalier approach.

The group is charged with burglary, and they can kiss their choices to satisfy their appetites goodbye in jail.

via Burglars rob high school of computer, French toast – U.S. news – Weird news – msnbc.com.

Good job.  Do any of you know shame?  ;-)

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